unknownfate

Me and fashion have never been friends. I blame it on my ability to adapt fairly quickly. Even it's the worst outfit ever, once I'm used to the sight of it, I can wear it like it's real clothes. I'm like the Borg. My first glimpse of myself in the dressing room mirror is all pain, but then I adapt, and it's not so bad. Pretty soon it has no affect at all. Which is why I walk out of stores looking like I do. I have the same trouble with haircuts.

I am getting better at identifying the stages.

Stage 1: Oh, sweet God. Wow. That is awful. I look completely stupid. Horrible. Terrible. Get it off. Rip it from your body. Wow.
Stage 2: Do people actually wear things like this? Wow.
Stage 3: If I stay seated and curl up with one heel on the edge of the seat and hunch over and wrap my arms around my knee it might look sort of maybe ok.
Stage 4: Ok, no it doesn't.
Stage 5: I guess I could wear it under a jacket. Or three.
Stage 6: It's on sale.
Stage 7: Enh. I'm going to look like a gerbil with a ponytail no matter what I wear, so why not?
Stage 8: (later) Friend: "Uh, is that new, um, what is that exactly?"
Me: "I think it's a sweater. Do you like it?"
Friend: "....I'm just gonna say wow and leave it at that."
Me: "I said that three times!"

Maybe I can start calling the whole thing off before I get to Stage 3. That can be a new resolution. *Don't let it get to the point where I'm contorting to make it look maybe not so hideous.*