Walrus Assassins from Beyond the Grave...
Dec. 27th, 2004 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unknownfateWell! I've watched many a wildlife attacks show. I know what to do when attacked by three different kinds of bears, what snakes are poisonous, that sort of thing. However, last night was a surprise. I was attacked by a walrus that has been dead for over a year.
There I was, lying in bed, minding my own business. A Walrus skull on the shelf above the bed THREW a tusk at me! A walrus tusk is a heavy thing, and this one bounced off my head in a way most unpleasant. It sounds stupid, but it was weird. First of all, it was pitch dark so I didn't know what it was that had hit me! I was just laying there, thinking about the things you think about when you're about to sleep, and then *WHAP* big heavy ivory chunk to the skull.
So, I thrashed and sputtered and flailed around until I found the thing and turned on the light and then I had to sit there grumbling and rubbing the knot on my head. Stupid walrus. And I say that with some confidence, because it was dumb enough to be killed by a bear and then left to bleach on the beach my mom found it on. And then she brought it home because how often do you find a walrus skull on the beach??
I'm beginning to think it's a conspiracy though. I think the skull was just biding it's time, waiting for me to come into tusking range. And that may sound crazy, but you have to remember that I haven't sunlight in over a week and I'm sloly being turned blue by the fuzzy flannel sheets I'm sleeping in. Wake up looking like Grover and see how crazy a killer walrus sounds.
There I was, lying in bed, minding my own business. A Walrus skull on the shelf above the bed THREW a tusk at me! A walrus tusk is a heavy thing, and this one bounced off my head in a way most unpleasant. It sounds stupid, but it was weird. First of all, it was pitch dark so I didn't know what it was that had hit me! I was just laying there, thinking about the things you think about when you're about to sleep, and then *WHAP* big heavy ivory chunk to the skull.
So, I thrashed and sputtered and flailed around until I found the thing and turned on the light and then I had to sit there grumbling and rubbing the knot on my head. Stupid walrus. And I say that with some confidence, because it was dumb enough to be killed by a bear and then left to bleach on the beach my mom found it on. And then she brought it home because how often do you find a walrus skull on the beach??
I'm beginning to think it's a conspiracy though. I think the skull was just biding it's time, waiting for me to come into tusking range. And that may sound crazy, but you have to remember that I haven't sunlight in over a week and I'm sloly being turned blue by the fuzzy flannel sheets I'm sleeping in. Wake up looking like Grover and see how crazy a killer walrus sounds.
