Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20
Oct. 2nd, 2009 01:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unknownfateSo, it's past my bedtime and I'm waiting for UPS because they called all perky about how they had driven right by and somehow missed the ginormous green duplex. They're on the other side of town now, but they'll be back! I roll my eyes because the whole town is only a couple miles across anyway. While I wait, crankily, I'll write this.
The library has Vol. 14 of the Onion Ad Nauseam. The only part I read were the horoscopes, and even then, only my own. Maybe I’m desperate for a laugh these days, but here’s a few of my favorites.
Don’t bother lying to the police when they pull you over next Friday. They’ll have already figured out that the tank was stolen.
Your life story is the kind of thing people pay good money to see, which isn’t good when you think about what bloodthirsty bastards people are.
The world may end “not with a bang but a whimper,” but the end of your world will have plenty of both.
You establish a destructive pattern of behavior this week when you discover how much fun it is to destroy things.
No matter how hard you try, nothing you ever do or achieve will please Alec Baldwin.
Oh, and be careful of that tricky first step. It isn’t there.
And my personal favorite:
A Japanese fishing boat will catch you off the Philippine coast this week, astonishing scientists who thought you’d been extinct since the Pleistocene era.
The library has Vol. 14 of the Onion Ad Nauseam. The only part I read were the horoscopes, and even then, only my own. Maybe I’m desperate for a laugh these days, but here’s a few of my favorites.
Don’t bother lying to the police when they pull you over next Friday. They’ll have already figured out that the tank was stolen.
Your life story is the kind of thing people pay good money to see, which isn’t good when you think about what bloodthirsty bastards people are.
The world may end “not with a bang but a whimper,” but the end of your world will have plenty of both.
You establish a destructive pattern of behavior this week when you discover how much fun it is to destroy things.
No matter how hard you try, nothing you ever do or achieve will please Alec Baldwin.
Oh, and be careful of that tricky first step. It isn’t there.
And my personal favorite:
A Japanese fishing boat will catch you off the Philippine coast this week, astonishing scientists who thought you’d been extinct since the Pleistocene era.
