Extra, extra.

[unknownfate]

Good news! Got the splinter out of my foot. It's been there for a few days. I picked at it until it got sore and then limped for a few days until it worked its way back to the surface. It's out now! Huzzah. Also, got my computer back. My arm is complete again.

Bad news... Inlaws. Yee-eeesh.

Weird news? I went to a wake for one of my Dad's cousins this evening. I had never met the poor lady, but there were some characters at her wake I won't soon forget. The first person I saw going into the room was an older man in full black leather biker regalia, down to the gloves. He had a full beard, long ponytail, and a cane with a golden cobra head on it. There was also a second cousin that I mistakenly thought was a woman for the first hour, only to be told later that she was the oldest son. Oops. I did make some decisions about my own future funeral, though. 1. Closed casket, because I don't want relatives petting my corpse. And 2. There should be food. Good food. And lots of it. Like a buffet.

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[bane-6.livejournal.com]

In one of the Sweet Potato Queen books, one of them threatens to bury a misbehaving friend in a biege pantsuit that's two sizes too small so she'd look fat. Then they'd set up a recording of her voice to say things like "Thanks for coming!", "Cute shoes!" and "Tell your mom I said Hi!" to the funeral guests. I think I'm gonna use that threat on my sisters.