Nanowrimo Day 15
Nov. 15th, 2019 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unknownfateSo much written and so little actually typed! I'm catching up though.
Whatever had set up shop in Catelyn was now strong enough to make itself known. After it had spoken to Helena, things began to really get weird. No one else ever saw it, of course. It kept Catelyn the model damaged little girl when anybody else was around. It was Helena that had to deal with the hissing and the climbing on the ceiling and the temperatures dropping until her breath steamed. The smell was a lot like the owl pellets they had got to cut up at the nature museum.
Helena had to listen in as her parents wondered if a pet would stimulate Catelyn to interact more. A puppy, they said, like that stuffed animal she used to carry everywhere. Helena thought of the dream with the dead rabbit and prayed they would change their mind. She was the one to suggest taking Catelyn to the shelter on adopt-a-day to see if any of the pets got a reaction. Maybe if enough of the dogs cowered or snarled, someone else would get the idea.
Thankfully, Catelyn was more interested in milling around the walking area than the animals themselves. She seemed to find a spot she liked and stood there staring off in the distance. The dogs were busy meeting the people and playing with the others, and if they gave her a little extra room, no one but Helena really paid attention. She stood there until all the adoptions were finished and the unlucky, unwanted dogs put back in their kennels.
Helena suddenly wished for one for herself, just to have something that was hers again. Catelyn wasn’t. She didn’t want to get the poor thing killed though. And there was no way to be sure that the dream rabbit wouldn’t become a reality. And even if still no one blamed Helena, it would still feel like her fault.
“What are you looking at, Cate the Great?” their mother asked, trying to follow Catelyn’s gaze.
“It’s the mountain,” Helena said, eager to get away from the sadness of dogs no one wanted, even if meant being strapped into a back seat next to her dead eyed, dead sister.
“Do you remember the 4th of July?” her mother asked Catelyn. “When we camping up on Pearis Mountain to see the fireworks all over town?”
“We could go back this weekend,” their dad said. “Just for a picnic.”
When the next Saturday rolled around, it was up to Helena to get Catelyn ready for the drive. She picked out an outfit and walked to the end of the hall to the bright green room. There was what had been Catelyn, clinging to the upper corner of the wall like a blond spider. Helena felt only a numb sort of horror looking up at her.
“You have to get dressed,” she said. “We have to leave early to get there in time for lunch. It’s a long drive.” She held up a strawberry slushee that she had snuck out to get and shook it to make the ice rattle. “I’ve got this to make it worth your while.”
Catelyn’s head tilted thoughtfully and pursed its lips.
“You know I’m not your sister,” it said.
“I know,” Helena said. “But right now, you’re all I’ve got.” She hadn’t meant to be so honest. That had been true before Catelyn had died and now it seemed even more so. She didn’t know if her parents were more distant now because they really did blame her for Catelyn falling through the ice, or if they always had been and she just hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was their own grief and worry that made them so strange, but they hadn’t been the same since. Nothing had.
The thing that wasn’t Catelyn came carefully down the wall. It made a sudden, frighteningly fast grab for the slushee, but Helena expected it and pulled it back just in time. She held up the outfit first. It was one of her old ones, since Catelyn hadn’t been here to care about what to wear for a long time now. It was overalls with a striped shirt and a hat with a frog on it. Enough green that the old Catelyn would like it. Easy enough to wrestle it onto an uncooperative demon.
With only a soft huff, it allowed itself to be dressed. Once the clothes were on, Helena handed over the slushee as agreed and pulled the blond hair into a pigtail. Sucking noisily on the straw, it followed along when Helena took its hand.
It was several hours from their home near the pond to the Hanging Rock Point on Pearis Mountain. They wound and wound around the steep sides to get to the trail access point. Helena and Catelyn were in the back. Their parents were in the front. There was a picnic lunch in the back and oldies music on the radio. Before the ice had broken, their parents would listen to classical music because the girls would make up their own lyrics to go with the music.
Helena didn’t have the stomach to do it without Catelyn, and no one expected Catelyn to make a peep. So they sat in silence as a song about kisses sweeter than wine played. After it was a high pitched one about a girl everyone called rag doll. Helena looked over at Catelyn again, flopped in her car seat. Ragdoll would be a good nickname for her too.
She had wondered what she should call her since she wasn’t Catelyn. Sis, maybe or Sissy, even though she had already said that they weren’t sisters. Maybe even Cate if she could stand it.
That was when she noticed how fast her mom was driving. The road was windy enough and now they were beginning to be slung back and forth around the curves. Her dad didn’t seem to notice. He was looking out the window at the woods all around them.
“Mom?” Helena asked, but neither of them answered. Catelyn looked at her, though. The car went even faster. There wasn’t even a guard rail this far up. “Mom, you’re going too fast!”
“It’s fine,” her mother said, leaning into a curve like a race car driver. Helena held onto her seat belt to keep from being flung towards what was left of her sister. That was when the deer appeared. It just stood there in the middle of the road watching them come towards it.
“Deer,” said not-Catelyn, loud and clear. Both parents whipped around to stare at her. Her mother pressed the gas even harder.
“Mom!” Helena screamed and then everything blurred. She didn’t know if they had hit the deer and gone over the other side of the curve or if they had swerved to avoid it and gone off the road that way. Whichever was true, there was only a steep hill and trees to stop them. They hit one and flipped and hit another and were knocked a different direction.
Helena screamed the whole time. She was bounced hard against the window once, smacking her head and shoulder into it. Her arms and legs were whipped around. She felt small things hitting her, but had no idea if they were items from inside the car as they spun, or stuff from outside. There was a final, terrible impact and then they were still.
Helena’s screaming turned into sobbing as the pain began to sink in. Her head throbbed and her shoulder hurt all the way to her elbow. She had several places stinging like they were cut. She had wet coming from her nose that tasted too sharp to not be blood. She tried to call for her mom or dad, but neither of them answered.
“They’re dead,” not-Catelyn said.
“No,” Helena sobbed. She had felt it when Catelyn died. Surely she would have sensed when both parents were gone.
“See for yourself,” the not-Catelyn went on. She was unbuckling her chair, even though they were tilted sideways. Helena’s feet swung in the empty space between the front seats. She tried to raise her aching head and focus past her toes. Her mom’s face was hidden by the air bag but there was a lot of blood. A tree branch had crashed through the driver’s side window and skewered through woman and airbag.
“Mom,” Helena whimpered. It could be true. Her mother wasn’t moving. She could hear her own breathing, but no one else’s. Not even from not-Catelyn. “Dad?” she tried again.
Her father’s airbag had opened too, but the force that they had hit the passenger side with had crushed him and the bag into the middle console. There wasn’t as much blood, but he was laying at such a strange angle, he could be dead too.
Not-Catelyn had freed herself and was picking her way across the backseat towards Helena. Why hadn’t she been crushed like their father had? She had a few nicks and cuts like Helena did, but nothing very terrible or bloody. She crawled right over Helena and tried the door. It wouldn’t open, but the window did.
“Wait,” Helena said. “Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?” Not-Catelyn ignored her and crawled out of the ruined car. Helena saw her start to walk away and panicked. “Wait! Come back! Don’t- You can’t just- WAIT!”
Not-Catelyn ignored that too, and Helena thrashed her way free of her own seat belt and out the window. She was hurt worse than she had thought. The whole side of her head was bloody and she staggered when she tried to walk. She still followed the smaller girl through the sliding leaves. If it had been her, Helena would’ve tried to get back up on the road. Not-Catelyn started off through the woods, heading up into the gully below the road.
Helena forced herself after. She didn’t know if
“You don’t care that they’re dead,” she heard herself say. “Why didn’t you kill me too?”
“Because you’re mine,” Not-Catelyn said. “You gave yourself to me. Even now you follow me and leave them behind. You could’ve laid there and died with them, if you were so loyal.”
“I’m supposed to be the oldest.” It was a stupid thing to say, but Helena’s brain and tongue were working against each other. She didn’t have the words in order to say that she was scared and confused and that she was supposed to take care of her sister and she had failed so badly before that she couldn’t fail again, even if it meant abandoning her dead parents to drag after the monster that had killed them. It could also have something to do with being afraid of the true nature of what Not-Catelyn was. It could’ve meant a dozen things.
“I remember Eden,” Not-Catelyn said.
“What does that mean?”
“I am much older than you.”
“Where are we going?”
“To find my descendants.”
“What, like your kids? You have kids?”
“They were meant to be killed in The Flood,” Not-Catelyn said. “All the first born. But they weren’t. Some remain, as do some of their sires.” She turned to smirk at Helena. It was weird to see an expression on Catelyn’s face after so long. More so such a weird, knowing one. “They were like you. Damned themselves for love.”
“Is that- Have I?” Helena still wasn’t sure what all that meant.
“I heard them talk about having another baby,” Not-Catelyn said. “About putting me somewhere to be taken care of and replacing Catelyn with a new child. Your mother might have already been pregnant. They knew she was gone. They just didn’t have the guts to believe it.”
“I did.” Helena said it quietly. If they would replace Catelyn, they would replace her. Somehow.
“You did,” Not-Catelyn agreed and began walking. Shivering and blinking blood out of her eyes, Helena followed again.
Whatever had set up shop in Catelyn was now strong enough to make itself known. After it had spoken to Helena, things began to really get weird. No one else ever saw it, of course. It kept Catelyn the model damaged little girl when anybody else was around. It was Helena that had to deal with the hissing and the climbing on the ceiling and the temperatures dropping until her breath steamed. The smell was a lot like the owl pellets they had got to cut up at the nature museum.
Helena had to listen in as her parents wondered if a pet would stimulate Catelyn to interact more. A puppy, they said, like that stuffed animal she used to carry everywhere. Helena thought of the dream with the dead rabbit and prayed they would change their mind. She was the one to suggest taking Catelyn to the shelter on adopt-a-day to see if any of the pets got a reaction. Maybe if enough of the dogs cowered or snarled, someone else would get the idea.
Thankfully, Catelyn was more interested in milling around the walking area than the animals themselves. She seemed to find a spot she liked and stood there staring off in the distance. The dogs were busy meeting the people and playing with the others, and if they gave her a little extra room, no one but Helena really paid attention. She stood there until all the adoptions were finished and the unlucky, unwanted dogs put back in their kennels.
Helena suddenly wished for one for herself, just to have something that was hers again. Catelyn wasn’t. She didn’t want to get the poor thing killed though. And there was no way to be sure that the dream rabbit wouldn’t become a reality. And even if still no one blamed Helena, it would still feel like her fault.
“What are you looking at, Cate the Great?” their mother asked, trying to follow Catelyn’s gaze.
“It’s the mountain,” Helena said, eager to get away from the sadness of dogs no one wanted, even if meant being strapped into a back seat next to her dead eyed, dead sister.
“Do you remember the 4th of July?” her mother asked Catelyn. “When we camping up on Pearis Mountain to see the fireworks all over town?”
“We could go back this weekend,” their dad said. “Just for a picnic.”
When the next Saturday rolled around, it was up to Helena to get Catelyn ready for the drive. She picked out an outfit and walked to the end of the hall to the bright green room. There was what had been Catelyn, clinging to the upper corner of the wall like a blond spider. Helena felt only a numb sort of horror looking up at her.
“You have to get dressed,” she said. “We have to leave early to get there in time for lunch. It’s a long drive.” She held up a strawberry slushee that she had snuck out to get and shook it to make the ice rattle. “I’ve got this to make it worth your while.”
Catelyn’s head tilted thoughtfully and pursed its lips.
“You know I’m not your sister,” it said.
“I know,” Helena said. “But right now, you’re all I’ve got.” She hadn’t meant to be so honest. That had been true before Catelyn had died and now it seemed even more so. She didn’t know if her parents were more distant now because they really did blame her for Catelyn falling through the ice, or if they always had been and she just hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was their own grief and worry that made them so strange, but they hadn’t been the same since. Nothing had.
The thing that wasn’t Catelyn came carefully down the wall. It made a sudden, frighteningly fast grab for the slushee, but Helena expected it and pulled it back just in time. She held up the outfit first. It was one of her old ones, since Catelyn hadn’t been here to care about what to wear for a long time now. It was overalls with a striped shirt and a hat with a frog on it. Enough green that the old Catelyn would like it. Easy enough to wrestle it onto an uncooperative demon.
With only a soft huff, it allowed itself to be dressed. Once the clothes were on, Helena handed over the slushee as agreed and pulled the blond hair into a pigtail. Sucking noisily on the straw, it followed along when Helena took its hand.
It was several hours from their home near the pond to the Hanging Rock Point on Pearis Mountain. They wound and wound around the steep sides to get to the trail access point. Helena and Catelyn were in the back. Their parents were in the front. There was a picnic lunch in the back and oldies music on the radio. Before the ice had broken, their parents would listen to classical music because the girls would make up their own lyrics to go with the music.
Helena didn’t have the stomach to do it without Catelyn, and no one expected Catelyn to make a peep. So they sat in silence as a song about kisses sweeter than wine played. After it was a high pitched one about a girl everyone called rag doll. Helena looked over at Catelyn again, flopped in her car seat. Ragdoll would be a good nickname for her too.
She had wondered what she should call her since she wasn’t Catelyn. Sis, maybe or Sissy, even though she had already said that they weren’t sisters. Maybe even Cate if she could stand it.
That was when she noticed how fast her mom was driving. The road was windy enough and now they were beginning to be slung back and forth around the curves. Her dad didn’t seem to notice. He was looking out the window at the woods all around them.
“Mom?” Helena asked, but neither of them answered. Catelyn looked at her, though. The car went even faster. There wasn’t even a guard rail this far up. “Mom, you’re going too fast!”
“It’s fine,” her mother said, leaning into a curve like a race car driver. Helena held onto her seat belt to keep from being flung towards what was left of her sister. That was when the deer appeared. It just stood there in the middle of the road watching them come towards it.
“Deer,” said not-Catelyn, loud and clear. Both parents whipped around to stare at her. Her mother pressed the gas even harder.
“Mom!” Helena screamed and then everything blurred. She didn’t know if they had hit the deer and gone over the other side of the curve or if they had swerved to avoid it and gone off the road that way. Whichever was true, there was only a steep hill and trees to stop them. They hit one and flipped and hit another and were knocked a different direction.
Helena screamed the whole time. She was bounced hard against the window once, smacking her head and shoulder into it. Her arms and legs were whipped around. She felt small things hitting her, but had no idea if they were items from inside the car as they spun, or stuff from outside. There was a final, terrible impact and then they were still.
Helena’s screaming turned into sobbing as the pain began to sink in. Her head throbbed and her shoulder hurt all the way to her elbow. She had several places stinging like they were cut. She had wet coming from her nose that tasted too sharp to not be blood. She tried to call for her mom or dad, but neither of them answered.
“They’re dead,” not-Catelyn said.
“No,” Helena sobbed. She had felt it when Catelyn died. Surely she would have sensed when both parents were gone.
“See for yourself,” the not-Catelyn went on. She was unbuckling her chair, even though they were tilted sideways. Helena’s feet swung in the empty space between the front seats. She tried to raise her aching head and focus past her toes. Her mom’s face was hidden by the air bag but there was a lot of blood. A tree branch had crashed through the driver’s side window and skewered through woman and airbag.
“Mom,” Helena whimpered. It could be true. Her mother wasn’t moving. She could hear her own breathing, but no one else’s. Not even from not-Catelyn. “Dad?” she tried again.
Her father’s airbag had opened too, but the force that they had hit the passenger side with had crushed him and the bag into the middle console. There wasn’t as much blood, but he was laying at such a strange angle, he could be dead too.
Not-Catelyn had freed herself and was picking her way across the backseat towards Helena. Why hadn’t she been crushed like their father had? She had a few nicks and cuts like Helena did, but nothing very terrible or bloody. She crawled right over Helena and tried the door. It wouldn’t open, but the window did.
“Wait,” Helena said. “Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going?” Not-Catelyn ignored her and crawled out of the ruined car. Helena saw her start to walk away and panicked. “Wait! Come back! Don’t- You can’t just- WAIT!”
Not-Catelyn ignored that too, and Helena thrashed her way free of her own seat belt and out the window. She was hurt worse than she had thought. The whole side of her head was bloody and she staggered when she tried to walk. She still followed the smaller girl through the sliding leaves. If it had been her, Helena would’ve tried to get back up on the road. Not-Catelyn started off through the woods, heading up into the gully below the road.
Helena forced herself after. She didn’t know if
“You don’t care that they’re dead,” she heard herself say. “Why didn’t you kill me too?”
“Because you’re mine,” Not-Catelyn said. “You gave yourself to me. Even now you follow me and leave them behind. You could’ve laid there and died with them, if you were so loyal.”
“I’m supposed to be the oldest.” It was a stupid thing to say, but Helena’s brain and tongue were working against each other. She didn’t have the words in order to say that she was scared and confused and that she was supposed to take care of her sister and she had failed so badly before that she couldn’t fail again, even if it meant abandoning her dead parents to drag after the monster that had killed them. It could also have something to do with being afraid of the true nature of what Not-Catelyn was. It could’ve meant a dozen things.
“I remember Eden,” Not-Catelyn said.
“What does that mean?”
“I am much older than you.”
“Where are we going?”
“To find my descendants.”
“What, like your kids? You have kids?”
“They were meant to be killed in The Flood,” Not-Catelyn said. “All the first born. But they weren’t. Some remain, as do some of their sires.” She turned to smirk at Helena. It was weird to see an expression on Catelyn’s face after so long. More so such a weird, knowing one. “They were like you. Damned themselves for love.”
“Is that- Have I?” Helena still wasn’t sure what all that meant.
“I heard them talk about having another baby,” Not-Catelyn said. “About putting me somewhere to be taken care of and replacing Catelyn with a new child. Your mother might have already been pregnant. They knew she was gone. They just didn’t have the guts to believe it.”
“I did.” Helena said it quietly. If they would replace Catelyn, they would replace her. Somehow.
“You did,” Not-Catelyn agreed and began walking. Shivering and blinking blood out of her eyes, Helena followed again.
