Sometimes, I crack myself up.
Jan. 11th, 2010 03:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unknownfateI had a dream last night, one of those stressful ones where you're late and things keep getting in your way and you keep looking at the clock.
One of the scenes took place in a tabletop DnD game where the players had dragged out all sorts of yardsale reject props to be the monsters and things in the game. The only one I remember clearly was this lamp shaped liked a jabberwocky. Yes.
^ See that? Now imagine that critter with a lampshade sticking out of its back, sitting on your night stand, watching you sleep. And you with no vorpal blade. Awful.
But the hideous thing was the main part of the dream that I remembered and I found myself wondering what stats a jabberwocky lamp would have in the Monster Manual. Because it was Monday and I needed the distraction. I wrote up some real quick. I know it's dorky. You know it's dorky. And some of you will question the accuracy of the stats. To those latter dorks, I can only invite you to write better ones. I don't have a Monster Manual of my own, so I had to make stuff up.
Jabberwock Lamp
Hit Dice: 5d10+150
Initiative: +11
Speed: Cord length
Armor Class: 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+25
Special Attack: Frightful Presence, Grab, Rush, Swallow Whole, Bite, Claw, Bludgeon Intruder Over Head With
Special Qualities: Carapace, requires 70 watt bulbs, Legend status, Whimsical Poem
Abilities: STR 15, DEX 12, CON 10, INT 5, WIS 3, CHA 1 (See Flaw: TACKY), Search+9, Spot +17, Survival 5 (+10)
Skills: Illuminate, Reading Improvement, Flame Eyes, Jawsbite, Clawsnatch, Whiffle, Burble
Environment: Tulgey Wood near Tumtum Trees, on end tables near plugs
Treasure: lightbulbs
Alignment: neutral
The part that has had me giggling all day is that his charisma is so low because of the flaw, tacky. I giggle every time I think about it. Anything that can keep a grin on my face all Monday deserves mention, no matter how goofy.
One of the scenes took place in a tabletop DnD game where the players had dragged out all sorts of yardsale reject props to be the monsters and things in the game. The only one I remember clearly was this lamp shaped liked a jabberwocky. Yes.
^ See that? Now imagine that critter with a lampshade sticking out of its back, sitting on your night stand, watching you sleep. And you with no vorpal blade. Awful.
But the hideous thing was the main part of the dream that I remembered and I found myself wondering what stats a jabberwocky lamp would have in the Monster Manual. Because it was Monday and I needed the distraction. I wrote up some real quick. I know it's dorky. You know it's dorky. And some of you will question the accuracy of the stats. To those latter dorks, I can only invite you to write better ones. I don't have a Monster Manual of my own, so I had to make stuff up.
Jabberwock Lamp
Hit Dice: 5d10+150
Initiative: +11
Speed: Cord length
Armor Class: 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+25
Special Attack: Frightful Presence, Grab, Rush, Swallow Whole, Bite, Claw, Bludgeon Intruder Over Head With
Special Qualities: Carapace, requires 70 watt bulbs, Legend status, Whimsical Poem
Abilities: STR 15, DEX 12, CON 10, INT 5, WIS 3, CHA 1 (See Flaw: TACKY), Search+9, Spot +17, Survival 5 (+10)
Skills: Illuminate, Reading Improvement, Flame Eyes, Jawsbite, Clawsnatch, Whiffle, Burble
Environment: Tulgey Wood near Tumtum Trees, on end tables near plugs
Treasure: lightbulbs
Alignment: neutral
The part that has had me giggling all day is that his charisma is so low because of the flaw, tacky. I giggle every time I think about it. Anything that can keep a grin on my face all Monday deserves mention, no matter how goofy.
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-12 03:52 am (UTC)And they did have vorpal blades, in my dad at least, so that could help.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-12 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-13 12:25 am (UTC)Adam thinks that if you just multi-classed it up one level with a lamp you'd be spot on. Either that or buy it a big hat... (to make it into a lampshade).
He's so attractive when he talks like that... !!!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-13 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-14 04:30 am (UTC)What a horrible idea for a lampshade... I'd never fall asleep. I'd keep giving it sideways glances.