You can call him Al.

Tonight I watched Alexander with no sound over the dewline bar. Now, without the sound, I can't be sure of what was going on, but it seemed like a lot of soulful-eyed young men in leather mini dresses... There were two bearded men with opposite eyes missing and at first I couldn't tell if they were different people or not. I thought it was just a really hideous continuity error. The whole bar kinda blinked. ("Wasn't it his right eye that was gone a minute ago...?") It also struck me that for the conqueror of the known world, Alexander spent most of the time wide-eyed and weepy and wobbly-lipped. No wonder the Macedonian folks in Barrow are so offended by the movie.

There was a very pretty horse in it. I assume it was Becephalus. It met a messy and unpleasant fate whilst charging an elephant in slow motion.

But anyway, it's 2 AM and I know more than I want to about cantaloupes and inflatable pigs and local politics. This is what I get for not leaving when I had the chance!