Blame it on February

It's a well known fact that before the March Madness comes the February Funk. A deep and crazy gloom seeps into the world. Ask anybody. Or just read the first few lines of Clive Barker's 'The Thief of Always'.

It's already started here. It's not even Valentine's Day yet and there's been four deaths, one murder charge, one assault, one crippling accident, orphaned puppies, two kinds of the flu (stomach and chest), record cold temperatures, followed by weirdly warm temperatures, general insanity, and mysterious pains. The whole town is less than two miles long. It shouldn't be able to hold this much crazy!