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Jun. 12th, 2005 04:19 pmOk.
I just THOUGHT I was depressed before.
I thought it was depressing that I had failed as a responsible adult and had to move in with my parents because I was broke and pathetic. I thought it was sad to have to move away from my friends and relatives in NC and try to start all over somewhere else because I'd blown it this time. I thought I'd miss snuggling with the kitties at night because they'd have to be outside cats in WV and I wouldn't be able to bring them in to sleep.
But now, the news comes that I'll have to get rid one of my cats. Preferably both. And I was good. I didn't lay in the floor and cry until I was alone again. There's very little I have that I wouldn't leave behind if I could take the cats. But I don't have a lot of choices right now. I'm broke. So the parents are calling the shots and if they say no cats, all I can do is cry about it.
And if I can pick one, which one? I raised both of them on an eyedropper. Every night I don't sleep with them on the bed, I miss them. The girl is my silky-soft bean-bag baby. She sleeps next to my shoulder every night and purrs. She black and white. Her eyes are the only color on her. My boy's all stripey and smooth. He's got all the colors in layers. Every hair is striped in black and brown and gold and amber. He likes to curl up by knees and sleep.
And as I sit here typing this wondering how in the world I'm supposed to pick one over the other, they curl up in the floor together and groom each other and go to sleep. I think there will be a lot more tears before I can get through this.
I just THOUGHT I was depressed before.
I thought it was depressing that I had failed as a responsible adult and had to move in with my parents because I was broke and pathetic. I thought it was sad to have to move away from my friends and relatives in NC and try to start all over somewhere else because I'd blown it this time. I thought I'd miss snuggling with the kitties at night because they'd have to be outside cats in WV and I wouldn't be able to bring them in to sleep.
But now, the news comes that I'll have to get rid one of my cats. Preferably both. And I was good. I didn't lay in the floor and cry until I was alone again. There's very little I have that I wouldn't leave behind if I could take the cats. But I don't have a lot of choices right now. I'm broke. So the parents are calling the shots and if they say no cats, all I can do is cry about it.
And if I can pick one, which one? I raised both of them on an eyedropper. Every night I don't sleep with them on the bed, I miss them. The girl is my silky-soft bean-bag baby. She sleeps next to my shoulder every night and purrs. She black and white. Her eyes are the only color on her. My boy's all stripey and smooth. He's got all the colors in layers. Every hair is striped in black and brown and gold and amber. He likes to curl up by knees and sleep.
And as I sit here typing this wondering how in the world I'm supposed to pick one over the other, they curl up in the floor together and groom each other and go to sleep. I think there will be a lot more tears before I can get through this.
