unknownfate: (werewolf goes courting)

I really should work out a timeline for this story so I know when the moon will be full again.
unknownfate: (Default)

and I end up laughing so I won't swear out loud.
unknownfate: (sugar)

Snrk! Yeah, I still think it's funny.
unknownfate: (fangirl marian)
All right. I have seen the prompts for Watchmen and Discworld crossovers and yet they have never inspired me and now I know why. None of them called for Granny Weatherwax to put Veidt in his place. It just came to me. Who better?

She said this to her own sister:
“You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage.”

But as I told [livejournal.com profile] huntsman_77, there’s another blond know-it-all who could’ve used that advice. And I’ll admit that the thought of a Moore/Pratchett collaboration is a gleeful one for me.
unknownfate: (smitten)
Once again, I have been rendered delicious by bleach.

I bought some bleach today to see if that funky smell in the washing machine could be exorcised. The trip to Barrow is a hard one though, for man, beast, and cleaning supplies. The little jug of bleach I chose had a ding in the neck of it, but they were all damaged in some way or another. It seemed ok, so I bought it. It wasn't until I got home that I found that the ding was actually a nasty crack and there was bleach all over. Not a problem as I dumped it all in the washer anyway, but I did get some on my hands.

As soon as the cats discovered this, it was game over. Luckily I can type while rubbed, nibbled, gnawed, licked, and loved upon. If I was better at chemistry I would try to figure out what ingrediant bleach has that sets the cats off, and if I wasn't afraid of poisoning them, I would soak a toy in it for them.
unknownfate: (owl always love you)
Wolverine Gets a Manicure Gif - Wolverine Gets a Manicure

TGIF, y'all. This week just about did me in. Nobody unexpectedly sprouted claws, but if they had, I would've just sent 'em to the nurse.
unknownfate: (watching)
First time I saw this I laughed so hard I snorted. I probably wouldn't have been so hysterical except that I'm a little afraid of chimps.

unknownfate: (Default)
On the other, it is pretty awesome.

funny food photos - Calvin and Hobbes Bento
see more
unknownfate: (labyrinth owl)
Check out my icon.

I've loved barn owls since Labyrinth. They're so pretty! They have heart-shaped faces and are all in these delicate shades of white and cream and fawn, and they're smaller and not as 'I'll-kill-you-with-the-force-of-my-wrathful-glare-alone'as larger, scarier species of owl. Some even ride skateboards.

Isn't that adorable? He looks so soft and sleek and fluffy. Even in an urban setting, he looks so clean and sweet and serene and wise, like he'd sit on your shoulder, connecting you to the mystical, leading you along secret leyline paths, and occasionally making a haunting call or gentle hoo for your ears only.

And I know better. The claws would tear clothing and draw blood. They would scarf down little squealing mammals in between horking up pellets. There would be epic craps down your shoulder and back (probably why wizards and druids and stuff wear all the capes)and the average call of an owl is only haunting in the way that a demonic spirit possessing your loved ones to kill you is haunting. Nothing like a chatty screech owl to make a tentful of campers wet themselves in the dark of the wilderness night.

But that's a screech owl, right? It's supposed to screech! And barn owls live in barns, right? In the sweet-smelling haylofts where the air is drowsy with golden dust motes before flying out over goblin-haunted realms of romantic teenage girls, singing softly to themselves with the voice of David Bowie. Right? Right??

Wrong. Here's what they sound like:

Listen to them! Look at how they move! Like tiny, feathered, velociraptor hellspawn! If that sat on your shoulder it only be to better reach your eyes!

Then again, they seem to trapped in a box with somebody cramming a camera in their faces. They're probably terrified and furious, and actually handling it better than many a celebrity would. I might still rather have one of those on my arm than [unpleasant famous person of your choice]. And despite it all, even shrieking threats to swallow your soul like the tasty little chipmunk it is, barn owls still manage to be cute.

And that is today's nature hour. Thank you.
unknownfate: (loveshack)
I'm pretty sure I need these:
funny food photos - Where are Statler and Waldorf?
see more

I wouldn't say no to these either:
see more

Or these:
see more

Yes. It's Friday, and my sweet tooth has gone bonkers.
unknownfate: (snugglehogs)
I could watch this all day.


It could very well be healing me of things I didn't know are wrong. You watch too. You'll feel better.


Apr. 18th, 2010 09:53 am
unknownfate: (musicmakers)
I needed a weekend so bad.

I got a lot done yesterday and I'm tempted just to lay around and hold down the couch today, but there's still some left to do. I did go to a birthday party last night and talked everybody's ear off. I also had cake.

And then, I was sent this:

"Your fourteen and an idiot!" And I just about snorted grape juice out my nose. For anyone who thought Shakespeare's leading ladies could use a talking to. The Ophelia one is funny too, but this is my favorite.
unknownfate: (obnoxious)

Peep Sushi! I still won't eat it, but here's how to make it. [livejournal.com profile] eternal_chimera passed this on to me. I haven't been able to enjoy peeps since about the same time peach and blue creme Nehi got entirely too sweet to stomach.

In the meantime, I watch Alice in Wonderland. The old Disney one. There is no lull in this thing! It just hops from one bit of wackiness to another. The Good Advice song is the only break you get. Now that I work with preschoolers I keep an eye out for movies that would lose their interest. I always loved AiW, and I can really appreciate how awesomely spastic it really is now. I'm also starting to realize that Sterling Holloway's Cheshire Cat voice sounds like a spaced out yet eerily intense Winnie-the-Pooh that you might end up setting next to in some form of public transformation. Maybe that's just me.
unknownfate: (hermit)
Look how cute this is!

I won't even tell you how I had to contort to get a picture of this with the laptop.

As I was getting ready for bed, he curled on my arm and it was so cute that I was careful not to dislodge him. He was still all cuddled up on my arm when I fell asleep too. I don’t know how long he stayed there, but when the alarm went off, my arm was completely numb. I’m talking not even a prickly sensation, just a completely limp, numb, dishrag arm.

Try turning an alarm clock off with one of those. It can’t be done. So while I’m flailing around like a zombie, trying to turn off the blaring alarm clock with my teeth, the cat came back and just tilted his head at me. He was the image of vaguely alarmed puzzlement. What now? his expression said. I wish I had a picture of that.


Feb. 14th, 2010 03:35 pm
unknownfate: (wall-e)


I don't know where this came from or who made it, but I watched it for so long that I figured the only way to shake off the spell is to pass it on to someone else.
unknownfate: (Default)
"What is wrong with these people?? What –what is there like a prize for being the stupidest idiot in all of Possum Lake?? Is that it? Is that what it is? Because I’m telling ya, it’s like trying to talk to Halloween pumpkins out there!!! Duuuhhh!


Oh, it’s going good. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Moron drivers, idiot salespeople, lodge members with IQs like room temperature maybe. Room temperature Celsius! I look for the light in their eyes, I do, I DO look for the light in their eyes! Bulbs burned out! And it’s those little Christmas bulbs too, y’know? One’s gone, WHOLE ROW IS GONE!"

-from the "Mad About You' episode of The Red Green Show. I love Harold. And I think everybody has had at least one day like this.
unknownfate: (cat says 'riiiiight')
(That only happened halfway in my head...)

Me: Who’s playing the halftime show?

Cat: Yes

Me: What?

Cat: Who.

Me: Wha... Wait...

TV: "Ever since I was a young boy..."

Me: *gasp* THE Who??? OMG!

Cat: *looks smug*

Me: Yee!

Cat: *goes to sleep*

Me: Townshend! Windmill! Eee! Do you think that's Daltry's real hair?

Cat: zzzzzzz
unknownfate: (labyrinth owl)
No scents at all, unless you count the imaginary ones.

I was watching the new Nightmare on Elm Street trailers and trying to remember when I saw the original one. That got me thinking of other early scary movies I had watched, my favorite of which was Lost Boys. I had also been prowling around the BPAL site and it occurred to me that it would be very cool to have a line of scents for the Lost Boys. I'd want to buy it just because.

Since they probably weren't going to have one by morning, I went ahead and made up some of my own. )

Please note, I know exactly squat (see subject line. heehee!) about mixing fragrances and some of the things I picked might stink enough to knock a wolverine off a month-old moose carcass when combined. No disrespect to the folks at BPAL who actually know what they are doing.
unknownfate: (snugglehogs)
I don’t know why this cracks me up as much as it does. Between the (see Flaw: Tacky) one post down and the strange image of a hammer-wielding Bon Jovi, I just grin all day.


Like a beginning Viking who decided to start low and work up to the Thor-Smiter. Heehee.
unknownfate: (giggly kobold)
I had a dream last night, one of those stressful ones where you're late and things keep getting in your way and you keep looking at the clock.

One of the scenes took place in a tabletop DnD game where the players had dragged out all sorts of yardsale reject props to be the monsters and things in the game. The only one I remember clearly was this lamp shaped liked a jabberwocky. Yes.

^ See that? Now imagine that critter with a lampshade sticking out of its back, sitting on your night stand, watching you sleep. And you with no vorpal blade. Awful.

But the hideous thing was the main part of the dream that I remembered and I found myself wondering what stats a jabberwocky lamp would have in the Monster Manual. Because it was Monday and I needed the distraction. I wrote up some real quick. I know it's dorky. You know it's dorky. And some of you will question the accuracy of the stats. To those latter dorks, I can only invite you to write better ones. I don't have a Monster Manual of my own, so I had to make stuff up.

Jabberwock Lamp

Hit Dice:
Initiative: +11
Speed: Cord length
Armor Class: 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+25
Special Attack: Frightful Presence, Grab, Rush, Swallow Whole, Bite, Claw, Bludgeon Intruder Over Head With
Special Qualities: Carapace, requires 70 watt bulbs, Legend status, Whimsical Poem
Abilities: STR 15, DEX 12, CON 10, INT 5, WIS 3, CHA 1 (See Flaw: TACKY), Search+9, Spot +17, Survival 5 (+10)
Skills: Illuminate, Reading Improvement, Flame Eyes, Jawsbite, Clawsnatch, Whiffle, Burble
Environment: Tulgey Wood near Tumtum Trees, on end tables near plugs
Treasure: lightbulbs
Alignment: neutral

The part that has had me giggling all day is that his charisma is so low because of the flaw, tacky. I giggle every time I think about it. Anything that can keep a grin on my face all Monday deserves mention, no matter how goofy.


unknownfate: (Default)

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